Albert Pinto ko gussa kyon aata hai?

Seriously, why does Albert get angry? Is it because he committed a grave mistake of giving his cellphone number to his advisor? Or is it because when he reached home yesterday, there was no food since he forgot to do the groceries the day before? But for these things he has himself to blame, and the narcissist like Albert just can’t get angry with himself. So why is he angry?

Probably he is angry because President Bush did not handle the Katrina too well and people are saying that Mumbai floods were handled far well than Katrina. But as far as I know Albert, he knows that there’s no point in such petty comparison. Only fools and politicians can come up with such comparison to get some cheap publicity. Albert would rather try to improve the Emergency Management Agencies than indulging in such petty meaningless debates.

So is he angry because there’s a fatwa on what kinda dresses Sania Mirza should wear on tennis court? Or is it because Google’s Digital Library project is seeing some rough waters over the copyright laws? Yes he gets angry over these things, but he is assured that there are enough efforts being put in to tackle the things and no matter how much the hardliners try to thwart the progress, in today’s open world they will have to eat their own words sooner or later.

I know he is not angry because some debutant director in Bollywood recently copied a whole Hugh Grant movie and tried to sell it as an original idea. I know he is not angry over rain spoiling whatever small chance Australians had to save the Ashes. And he is definitely not suffering from any disorder that has abnormally increased the Cortisol Hormones in his blood. So why does he get angry?

Finally he told me today why he gets angry. He gets angry over the people who refuse the right of general public to breathe fresh air and mix a toxic smoke rich with nicotine in it. And irrespective of the number of lawsuits against tobacco companies and extensive awareness programs, he finds that many of the Doctors and Physians themselves smoke. He does not have any objection over people committing suicide themselves by breathing in the poison. But Albert gets very very angry when for no apparent reasons he has to succumb to the passive smoking.

And let me warn you all who are responsible for Albert’s gussa. Jab jab Albert ko gussa aata hai, tab tab Jupiter pe jwalamukhi fatata hai…